Everyone is different I suppose.. but it seems that she either has no idea she is crossing what should be a boundary to you or is intentionally doing it.
I would treat it like you would a child to some extent.. there is certain behavior that is not tolerated or acceptable.. there are certain things we dont say or do to another person (you). Whatever they are in your sitch (again up to you)it is your role to make sure they (your boundaries) are communicated.
Again, if it upsets someone else that you point out they have crossed a boundary in a firm but polite manner.. too bad for them.
