Here's how I feel about W not being able to be intimate. I feel like I have a disease, like I'm not good enough for her, like there's something wrong with me, like she does'nt like me or love me, like I'm shackeled and stuck in a cage that I can't get out of. It makes me want to D her, and go find a woman that'll want to have sex with me. A woman that enjoy's a good orgasm, and isn't afraid to show it. You see, one of the biggest turn on's for a guy, is a woman who's turned on. It's not a porno kind of thing, it's a sharing of the love thing. It's a communication that is deep and very hard to describe, but it lets us guys know that we are needed, loved, and appreciated, like a warm piece of fresh baked apple pie. We come away with the satisfaction of knowing that our woman just recieved the fullest of the love we can possibly deliver.
Being refused good sex is the ultimate rejection. It's like a kid pouring his soul into a work of art, or writing beautiful story, and being super excited to show it to his mom, only to find mom uninterested or not even care to see it. Makes you just want to tear it up and throw it away.
Personally, it's the cruelest thing I've ever had to face. I'd much rather have her be rude, ugly, short tempered, air headed, etc. Just about anything but frigid. IMHO, if you want to stay M, and you don't want H to go find OW, then enjoy a nice glass of wine every evening, and then enjoy a good poke from your H! Now that's livin lady!
COG, I am so deeply sorry that your sitch has gotten to the point where you have this realization. Perhaps what is so poignant to me is that it so precisely describes what 16 out of 22 years of my former M were like.
Reading this passage reminded me of times when because of what you wrote, I'd find myself curled up in a ball alone on the couch trying to prevent myself from weeping.
I know exactly what you mean, the pain of being denied is immense and horrid particularly when it's coming from someone that claims that they love you but looking back in hindsight, DBing has taught me to observe actions over words.
Since the failure of the reconciliation, I have been blessed once again by God and He has bought someone into my life with which we share a common values of spirituality, culture, R and vision of our future. As far as the issues of which this thread is about, those issues and feelings are well and truly in the past, never again to be tolerated. Sharing deeply loving intimacy with someone you love and they love you is a one of the greatest gifts from God and I once again find myself weeping over it. But this time, it is tears of joy.
God Bless, Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
