WOW...your situation sound very similar to mine...Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. I can find comfort in them.
My wife has not returned home. I have worked out an arrangement so that she can come by the house every morning to get the kids ready for school and spend about an hour with them.
I did confront the OM before this all went down. I feel that my anger now comes from the fact that I gave him two different opportunities to "take the high road" and he still chose to have the PA with my wife. I do strongly believe that it takes two to have an affair, but it only takes one to stop an affair. I have chosen to focus my anger on him since I did give the opportunities for him to distance himself with integrity.
I have not confronted him recently though...Like you said, Bad DB'ing but there is so much I would like to say to him.
My W is now seeing a counselor and working on herself. I have not asked if she is still in contact with OM but I'm sure she probably is "as a friend".
I am scared now that every time I look at her I see him and will continue to. He lives only two blocks away and I do see him driving by every now and then when I'm out with the kids. When I see him it can instantly change my mood, and then I feel a tremendous sense of loss. I am also seeing a counselor and he has told me this may take years to get any resemblance of my former life...I worry about that long trip.
I have read a few stories and I can take some motivation away from people who say they have a better M now than ever before. I guess it's the silly little things that creep into my mind.....again what is lost. My W always told me that one of the most important things to her was that I was the only Man she had ever been with....We had met in High School and dated for years before we got married. I feel a tremendous loss of what that was some days and on others I weigh that against what else I could lose. Either way it just makes me sad. I worry now that the way I look at my wife is different than before....I don't feel the admiration that I used to feel. I worry about getting that back.
I guess that is what you meant about it being an uphill battle.
I will try to go through your posts to get more background on your story. Thank you again for taking the time to correspond...it has helped.
