After 13 yrs of M and 2 chldren (D12, S10), it finally dawn on me that my W does not love me. Why? Becos there's no emotional bond btw us. At best, we are friends. There's no 3rd party involved. She's 200% mother to the kids and 10% spouse. Btw, I'm 49 and W 43. She has very low-sex drive and she has told me recently that sex is not important to her and she doesnt like it. If I'm lucky, we are intimate once a month and if not, it can last forever till I initiate it.
I had to do a double-take when I read this to see if I was the one who posted it and just forgot about it. It is so similar, even down to "only Saturdays".
I've been battling this for a while. We'll have been married 20 years in a few months, and this has been an issue for about 16 of them. If I talk to her about it, it gets better for a month or so, then slips right back into the old routine.
I think I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I must be lousy at sex. Seriously. Psychology 101 tells us people like to repeat pleasurable experiences and avoid unpleasant experiences. I must be lousy at it because if I were good at it she'd be wanting to do it all the time. As it is she avoids it whenever possible and if she does have to do it, she wants to get it over with as soon as possible. It's like you said, it's just a chore to her, like doing the laundry or something.
I think she loves me, but as a companion and a provider, not as a husband. I guess I just have to decide if I can live with it.
