Okay, I can see that you're not going to let me off the hook about the GAL.
Yeah, I'm dodging that a bit. I'm not going to pretend that detaching and looking out for myself haven't exactly been the most successful of my endeavors lately.
But:
I exercise (lifting weights and jogging) about 3 times a week on average. Sometimes every day, sometimes twice a week.
I've been setting aside time to appreciate my music collection, and have taken up listening to some new things.
I've been getting back to my work (which I've avoided in favor of spending time with my W).
I've been spending some time in prayer, much more so than ever before.
Reading a few good books.
Dinner with W nearly every day, if that counts (it's a dangerous sort of thing regarding detachment).
I'm not saying that it's quite like taking scuba lessons, but these are the kinds of things I really value in my life. And in the winter, I can't really go out sailing or anything.
Okay, now back to my sort-of "veiled" criticism of GAL...
I know that getting my own life in order will help me be stronger whatever the outcome. I do think that there is a good chance that me looking stronger will help the chances of a reconciliation too.
But so far the things I've seen that have helped get me closer to my W have been more along the lines of developing personal qualities that weren't so apparent before. Listening well, for one.
Yeah, you do that "for yourself". But mainly you do it because you want to be able to relate to others. Your "betterment" is your relational betterment.
Part of making that happen does seem to lie in self-analysis and analysis of difficulties. I do see what you mean - endless brooding ain't doing much. But I've seen positive stuff come of this. The problem is - and you've nailed it - the info I'm getting from the W is confusing indeed.
So I keep going back to it, as if to digest it.
And "thinking too much" is what I'm always prone to do. You're right. You might say I've made it my curse. But now, I'm just trying to figure out how to balance the way I am with the way I'll have to modify my approach to things here.
