I know, I know. That 'shoe dropping' expectation is really the pits, and it's hellishly difficult to totally bury it. When I'm busy, I keep it at bay. But when I'm alone...
Then I start to think. Better - brood.
The whole GAL theory certainly makes sense, but it is basically a better rather than worse way of redirecting your attention. Sometimes I think that the history of the problems of my M are too important to relegate to half an hour of contemplation at the end of a fulfilling day.
See, maybe I'm more subscribed than I think to the analytical side of psychology. I get the feeling that all I'm doing to "live my life" is a sort of manipulation of the situation, the attempt to rehabituate myself to life w/out my W.
That makes sense, but I'm concerned that I'm dodging too much.
For one, I'd like to understand what the hell my W is talking about and why some of the time. That's what I mean by analytical - I want to get to the "roots" of what's going on (even if they are only part of the story).
I want to know how much my behavior contributed to this. It is hard to deal with 1.) guilt and 2.) a sense of being wronged. If I get a better handle on it, I can accept everything more easily.
Not sure if that helps detaching, especially if detaching is sort of "forced" on you.
So what am I doing for myself? Trying to keep my life as it is in order (enough trouble there), with as much attention as available to trying to better it with or w/out the W.
