I don't get this reasoning at all. I think you are way over-analyzing instead of looking at the most obvious and simplest answer: that your H feels like he is disappointing you, it is causing guilt and depression, the SL suffers, and the cycle begins.
This can all be taken one step further… why is this cycle even occurring in the first place? I think Mojo understands that she has certain intimacy issues and that her H does too. But I’m not so sure HE really understands his issues. Could all this be a dance to avoid feeling intimate and vulnerable, something neither learned to experience as a child and which feels very uncomfortable now as an adult? The problem though is that intimacy is what they want, yet they push it away when they get it (this applies to my W and I, and as far as I can tell, everyone else on this board).
