Time to Rebuild

[Jen_Jam]

Just want to update...something good happened last night!
I have been ill recently, when I get ill I feel needy and clingy. H asked me how I was, I said I felt a little low and could do with a few extra cuddles and a bit of extra attention, would he give me it? He was fine with that.
Then he said he was going to ring his brother tomorrow (ie tonight) to see if he wanted to go out for a drink. I felt a little put out. Then he said he wanted to put the England-Spain footie match on the TV (had recorded it).
I ended up feeling more put out and said so, but also that I understtod he wanted to see his brother who is going through a difficult time right now. I was a bit sarcastic and said "well you put the football on, I'm having a bath in a minute so i'll be out of your hair". he looked upset.
Anyway, I realised this was going down our old path so I explained I felt put out. H explained he felt confused as 5 mins after I'd said I wanted extra attention I went upstairs to sort out a work problem on the PC. He felt he was getting mixed signals from me.
We listened to each other, I said sorry for the barbed comment, we put on a DVD for a while then I had my bath. I repeated again I had no problem with H catching up with his brother because of the hard time he (brother) is having at the moment. If he wasn't having a hard time I may have said "is it OK not this time?".
So - the upshot is that we are both happy, H has the entire weekend off and has said he'll pay me extra atention then, I said if he went out tonight I'd get a nice meal and a film in, and "i will be happy".
It worked! I commented that it was nice because once upon a time that would have led to us having an argument, now we are both listening to each other. I said it was nice cos itproved we are both changing for the better and H agreed.
Woo yay!! I think this is going to take a while yet to feel really comfortable, but the fact that we can deal with differences of opinion really well now is so encouraging!!!