Let's say that my H had been mature, brave or differentiated enough to approach me and broach the subject in a loving fashion. Maybe he could have said "Honey, I know you are probably expecting that we should be resuming our sex life at this juncture and I hate to disappoint you because I love you. However, I'm feeling less attraction to you right now because of the way your body changed during pregnancy and perhaps some stress I am feeling about taking on the responsibility of being a father.". Then super high self-esteem, self-accepting, self-aware, not likely to manifest inappropriate HD behavior Mojo could have said "Thank you for being honest with me. I still feel like you are a physically attractive man but as a woman I am most sexually attracted to men who manifest strong sexual desire for me, so your lack of physical attraction to me is going to result in me experiencing a lack of emotional attraction to you. So, clearly we have some problems we need to work on if we are going to continue to have a satisfactory sex life
I'm assuming that was your "ideal world" response and not something you actually consider possible in the "real world." Name me one man who would come right out to his W that he was no longer attracted to her after she just gave birth to his children. Even if that is the honest thought, is it an appropriate thing to say? What woman will embrace that statement? I think it is fairly mean, not ideal at all. No one is THAT differentiated. Or am I way off here? Maybe it is the right response and I'm still too undifferentiated to see the benefits. But it reminds me of the Cobra comments about the boob job. I'd be pissed. And I wouldn't soon forget those comments either. Who would. This is probably why I had such horrible fights with my H about our SL. And he never came out and said anything so drastic until after we were separated, but I certainly sensed it. I take it way too personally. But I'm only human. If a man says he is not sexually attracted to me, I tend to lose attraction for him. Helpful when I'm in a romantic R, not so helpful when I'm in a M.
