Am I piecing? I am sooooo confused

[Heywyre]

I don't think he meant to be cutting when he said "not feeling guilty sometimes about the A because I am so strong" but I actually told him that was just his way of rationalizing and it was an excuse, NOT a reason (like there are any ligitimate reasons?).

I know what you mean about wanting to be needed. I have NEVER EVER heard my H say, in the whole 18 years we have been together, that he needed me. He's always told he he doesn't need anyone (which I think is pretty sad)

People are human, they need to be needed and they thrive on it. Its all a part of being human (although sometimes I wonder if my H falls into the "human" category)

My X-SIL just called me up. He wants to go through with the paperwork for his divorce but my Daughter doesn't want him to know where she is so I told him and her I would be the go-between. She is still very bitter about how he treated her (some 8 years later) and it makes me cringe. I told her not to be so vindictive and to let things go. She got VERY upset with me and I thought to myself "if only she knew what I was going through and what I had to forgive, she would think her marriage was a piece of cake". But I won't burden her with my problems and just bit my tongue.

I just have to find where that balance is between being "needy" and being needed