I know there has been a million similar sitches on here probably like mine, I apparently still can't relate to them to help my sitch right now.
I was in Newcomers, but a strange thing happened about three weeks ago, and hopefully you intelligent and more patient DBers can tell me if I deserve to be in Piecing.
My father passed away from Alzheimers on Jan 18. My W let me stay with her for a week straight at the house (Ive had an apartment since Nov), and through the whole tragedy, W and I became very close again with loving feelings for each other like we used to have (and I fully believe this was not out of guilt or comforting to me because of my dad). So, the following two weeks were nothing short of blissful to me, (and the W). Just like rewinding time back 3 years ago. Our first three years of M was like being newlyweds.
Now, throughout this, W admitted that she still has feelings for me she didn't realize were still there...(really?..Anger and resentment toward me blinded you?)...and she hasn't said she wants to work out the M, but rather take a day at a time and go from there.
Problem is, W goes through spells of wanting nothing to do with me other than friends, and other days kissing me or wanting sex. Now, we always had problems with her always initating it, not because I didn't want it, just too scared to initate when I felt she wasn't in the mood. Now, because of what has transpired during the separation and the last three weeks, I am not sure if this is considered a roller coaster or not.
I guess my rambling is all about this: She admits it has only been two weeks, and nothing can just be all better, I understand this, she also comments that she is not ready to take me back, but not ready to push me away. WTF? I am a confused male, and I know the women probably could tab that statement to most men. Am I supposed to be patient and let her only initate physical contact as far as kissing goes? When we talked to each other on the phone and such, we always said, ILY. Now, I don't after I leave her on the phone or seeing her (a 180?), but she has said it occasionally, but says it is out of habit? Once again...WTF??
Could she be on the same roller coaster with me? I have begun to GAL and PMA is getting very good, but I still would give anything to have my W back. Any tips on how to understand even partially this patient rollercoaster?
