Unfortunately not no he is working overtime tonight until 7am so I won't see him until tomorrow evening now when he gets up.
I wish I had your strength you seem really cool on not pressuring H or asking him for reassurances - how do you do it?? I feel like it is all I've done for the last week and now I feel scared that I've pushed him away and he's going to leave.
I'm so sorry that you are having a difficult time at the moment, i know how you feel because i am having a nightmare too.
to me, it sounds as if things are going really well for you, you should be so proud of yourself for what you have achieved so far. It's horrible when there is an issue that you just can't get out of your head, but like the others have said, we have to be patient. He has said he loves you which is fantastic, if only my H would say that, i would then gladly wait an eternity for any other sign of affection.
Just remember how brilliant you are doing and how different things are now compared to a couple of months ago.
Glad you have found my new thread. Speak again soon UL
Hi Unloved nice to hear from you again I'll check out your thread in a minute and see how you're doing. I'm doing better than when I last posted. H and I had a row on Sat night which obviously is not recommended whilst DBg but actually I think it was a chance for both of us to air our frustrations and worries with piecing and things seem to have improved since.
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Just remember how brilliant you are doing and how different things are now compared to a couple of months ago
Yeah I do need to keep reminding myself that it has only been 8 weeks and that really isn't that long. Everything seems so right though that I keep forgetting which is good in a way.
I have some great news - another of my goals has been achieved............H HAS PUT HIS RING BACK ON TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so useless at all this stuff now. Why can't I go more than a few days without going back to square one. I haven't mentioned anything to H about kissing/ML issue since Saturday night and I have felt alright about it and now today I feel upset and down about it again. I think maybe I thought a few days of no pressure on him about it would make something happen. What a fool. It's like he's just thought "great she's not mentioning it I can forget it now".
We had another argument tonight. About something H was supposed to have done a month ago and I've tried to ask about it in a casual manner hoping he would do it and then I've mentioned it today and it turned into a row. It has left me feeling nervous. I feel like it is all just turning back to how it was. H said everything is fine and that if he'd done the thing in the first place the argument wouldn't have happened, which is true but I am left feeling like the bad guy for bringing it up which caused the row.
not feeling any better today. The lack of improvement on kissing/ML issue is getting me down again. I'm starting to think I must be some sort of wierdo for thinking about it so much and H doesn't seem remotely bothered that nothing is happening. I just can't seem to find a solution to this problem. Well not the problem cos I know only H can sort that but a solution to me handling it better. I don't feel wanted, or loved, or needed AT ALL. I just keep on trying not to ask H about it or mention it but I've only managed that for five days and I'm at it again. H doesn't want me to be struggling with the issue but there is nothing he can do about it (well appart from the obvious which he can't/won't do) How can you stop feeling attracted to someone who you're attracted to?? How can I stop feeling like I want to kiss him?? I feel so trapped. I don't want the R to be over yet I can't handle the R how it is. I really don't see how something like this can be put up with for months on end. I'm scared I'm messing up the very last chance I have. I love this man so much and now I feel like I'm going to lose him because I love him and want him - how ironic would that be.
Sorry to hear you are still struggling with the ML issue. I know how you feel when you say you want to feel loved and wanted, that has always been my problem. But if i remember correctly your H has said that he still loves you and always has. Just keep reminding yourself that - my H has been brutally honest about how he doesn't love me so you really are very lucky. Jenjam advised me to read up thought stopping in DR which has helped me alot, you have probably already tried that though. Apart from cold showers i'm not sure what else to suggest!!! Maybe try and look at it in a more comical way. When you feel the urge to pounce on him and rip his clothes off just imagine it as a sitcom or something. Anything to try and put a smile on your face rather than become frustrated and upset - worth a try!!!
You are doing so well with reaching your goals. I haven't really set any but i think i should. Putting the wedding ring back on is a massive leap forward, i definately think that will be one of mine. What other goals have you set?
I love reading your thread as are sitch are almost the same and you have been given some really good advice which i have tried out aswell. Keep up the good work, you have got this far on your own and your H and son will be so proud of you. You have saved your marriage, it just needs a little bit of fine tuning now so don't give up.
I think I'm going to struggle with the ML issue until it happens. Well I don't think I know. Yeah I've tried the thought stopping it works when H isn't here but when he's next to me in bed it's kind of hopeless. I'd be drying my hair an awful lot if I keep having cold showers everytime I fancy H! Like the sitcom idea I'll try that.
The other goals I set once H had moved back in were that he would move all his things back in (which he has now done), put his ring back on (which he has done), kiss me on the lips (done), sleep in our bed (done), kiss me "properly" (not yet) and ML (not even anywhere near). It definitely has helped because its a great buz when he does one of them!
Yeah I think I've saved my M too like you say just fine tuning and if I was the one doing the tuning it would already be done! Hope you have a nice weekend too.
Well H and I are going out for a meal tonight and staying in a hotel!! All at H's suggestion. He really is trying with making sure we go out together quite often. I has been almost 3 weeks since we have been out as we have all been ill at various points so I'm looking forward to it.
Unfortunately we didn't have a lovely time. Just as I was starting to get ready S2 decided to jump up and down on our bed and fell off and we had to take him to A&E. He has fractured his arm bless him. So obviously we cancelled the meal and hotel - I'm sure H will rearrange it - soon I hope!!!
Things have been a bit up and down but I think it is mostly because we both have really bad colds and are not getting much sleep (looking after S not any nudge, nudge, wink, wink reason :D). Monday H said to ask him one question I really want answering and he will answer it in 48 hours. So I asked about ML issue and he is due to answer me tonight so can't wait to hear what he says.
I got a valentine's card from H!!!!! I bought one for him but decided to only give it him if he got one for me as I didn't want to pressure him. I'm so pleased!! I;ve already been to your thread so know what you got - you are so lucky!!
Hope you have a nice weekend too.
I;ve already been to your thread so know what you got - you are so lucky!!