On the home front, things are fine, if not TOO fine. Too much complacency. I started thinking of what I could do differently.
I decided to change that today and just do something spontaneous for W. I decided to offer to take the kids to school this morning. She usually takes them, and for me to do it, I have to be a bit late to work so it sometimes turns into a bad thing when she asks me to take them. I realized that the times it ISN'T a bad thing is when we ML into the wee hours of the morning and she asks me. I am all too happy to do it then. Sadly, this is probably seen as a trade off...and then seen as "I do THAT for you, you do THIS for me, which makes BOTH of us seem to be saying that sex is something only I like. When she asks me to take them without the ML the night before, I realize I usually act like a royal a$$.
Anyway, I decided, in the absence of ML last night, I would just offer to take them. She declined at first, saying it was going to turn ugly (assuming I was going to get pissy, start yelling at the kids to hurry, daddy's late, etc) but I simply smiled and said "No, I'm serious. I'll take them, and don't I have a smile on my face?" She was taken aback. She said she'd appreciate it and helped me get them ready.
She called a few hours later to ask why I didn't call her after I dropped them off. I smiled (through the phone anyway) and told her I wanted her to get some rest so I waited for her to call. She seemed surprised again.
All-in-all, I think it had the desired effect. I am trying to shake things up and I think the best way to do that is to show MORE love without condition. So far, so good.
Again, it's not like anythings particularly wrong, or that there's signs that she's not happy. I just don't want things to get stale.
Also, over the past week or so we have been discussing W going to Ireland with her sister and BIL. We were both going to go but I can't get the time from work and it would be too expensive on top of that. She is going to decide today if she really wants to go and we will try to make it work financially.
On the one hand, I am jealous but on the other, I really want her to go because she's the kind of person who gets antsy if she doesn't travel every once in awhile. Me, I can go years without a vacation and not really miss it (at least on the surface).
If she doesn't go (looks like 80% chance she won't) or even if she does go, we are planning to all take a family trip somewhere in the summer.
I have to be honest that the idea of OM meeting her there popped EVER SO BREIFLY into my head but I immediately dismissed the thought. It would make for a grand conspiracy, lol.
I'm glad to see things going well for you too. What one man can do, all can do, or something like that. In other words, you're an inspiration.
Now to ask a favor. I figure it can't hurt to ask. I'm not in a bad sitch (not like mepicurus or even you were) but since you and TL were my first counselors/mentors, I'd still like your input.
Basically, I think I just need a sanity check. Is patience the best advise? I feel I'm falling into a rut and I don't want my M to be just like it was (it wasn't too great). If I get to the point you are at, I'll still worry about falling into a routine.
Hi Grasshopper Its Ben and I have got back on this forum. The last time i posted in here was early Nov. I reached a point where I got a life and focused on me and my boys and let her go. Well I posted my update in infedelity and divorced but not done. I have a question for you its at the hend of my "why the denial" post. Having a hard time with this one. Your imput is always appreciated. Good to see things progressing with your sitch. God Bless and stand true.
Hope things are still going smoothly. I have to say piecing does get a bit easier over the months. But like you mentioned, I don't want to get complacent. There are still things that bother me. Some little problems we had before that are only magnified because of the A.... oh well....
You take care and keep up that PMA!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Just checking in on "my brother from another mother" here...what's shaking GH?
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Thanks for checking in guys. As you probably have noticed, I am kinda away from the board for now. I doubt I will stay away but I needed a break. I will try to check in when I can.
Things are going ok. I am still feeling a bit "stuck" but I am working on that.
Again, thanks for the visit and I will try to return the favor soon!
Try to keep up the PMA and do some special things for you. I think when things have been going well with piecing and togetherness it's probably invigorating to do some "self things."
Take care!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
