I don't believe that Fender was suggesting that you dismiss your wants and needs as legitimate. Rather, I think the suggestion was that you do so more constructively.
I doubt your girlfriend meant that H should spend several hundred dollars a month without question when you are deeply in debt, far enough for H to bring up bankruptcy. Rather, I think the suggestion was that the two of you come up with a budget that leaves you both with your own discretionary funds.
Again, you are swinging wildly over to the "Mamabear is a demanding b*tch" view of yourself because H had a tantrum. This truly is not going to get you or your M anywhere.
