I have been reading thru some of your posts and I just read the one you posted to me in December dont know how I missed that before thanks....
You can answer this very personal quetion if you want to and if you do not that is obviously ok too. Also the answer I know is not so simple but quite complex.....
My H says that I do not show him I love him and by that he means physical touch and ML..
while we are intimate he says he does not ever feel me present except for when ... Ive had a few drinks....

I will admit that I try so very hard not to think about anything ( the OW the past and my insecurities) but showing him the great love I have for him and yet I seem to fall short and if you remember he has her name tattoed on his chest,, so I thought I was giving im the best of me and hiding the rest but he clearly feels my guardedness,,, he says he is very hurt.

I know that I am not responsible for the way he allows himself to feel and yet I would like to change this,, so my ? is this if you choose to reply.. I know that you are doing awesome now but you can you give me a hint of the pain I am causing him ( how my lack of passion makes a man feel, ) I do want him but in my insecureness I am amking him feel umwanted.He will not explain the depth of the hurt. and what might help for me to do to show him that I do really and truly deeply love him... I am trying like h*ll to let go and just be and it is sad that only when I am relaxed some eith alchohol that he can feel me. Please help in any way you can. I wil surely feel so blessed if you can ofer me any light in this darkness. I know he is hurt but I do also know that he is not telling me how deeply I hurt him by being this way. The last thing I want to do is hurt him .

I do think I was very passionate during our seperation cause I let go and went with my love and just went for it withoout too much thought of anything I just gave passion cause I felt I had nothing to lose. I rarely ever thopught of her or the hurt and my insecurities.....DO I even make sense? Thank you for your time.
GOD BLESS YOU COG....