This total lack of trust you have towards your Husband has been going on for years. When are you planning on letting it go? I am sorry but are not going to enjoy this new life with your Husband if you continue to question every single thing that happens. Not every realtionship ends up in piecing!! As for the off colored email joke...get over it! It was sent to a bunch of people, not specifically to your Husband from a FF or OW. You need to maybe find a sense of humor and laugh about it, loosen up and stop being so uptight. Did he change the password on a joint account you share? Then casually ask him for it. Maybe he just forgot to tell you. Men do these things, it is not all about secrets and lies, they can be forgetful. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop is going to make you anxious and neurotic. You will build your own wedge in this relationship because of your own behavior. I know because I did it too. You have been DBing for far too long to not be able to recognize this behavior. Next week is Valentines Day.... Why not plan something nice for your Husband, and do a 180 and let him see the beautiful woman he married, you remember the fun one, who loves her Husband.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
