Hey J,
I am glad you had a good visit with your Husband.
I also agree with most of your post.
Having your WAS come home for the wrong reasons is worse then having him gone.
In some ways both you and I were lucky because our Husbands were so far away we had the space we needed to heal and figure things out.
I don't think I could have handled the MLC with him living locally and breathing down my neck.
I could never have dealt with the ugly spew sessions in my face.
Hanging up the phone or pressing delete on the email was easier.
I agree about your sister.
I too have one of those!
My Mother has been Divorced from my Father for over 35 years and she is still bitter and angry, never remarried.
History was rewritten over and over again, it is a crazy way to live.
I no longer live in fear. I think I have faced the worst possible part of the crisis and I have seen what I can really handle and what I can't.
Sometimes I amaze myself \:\) There have been many things that I have done that I never thought possible.
I would not choose to live alone because I genuinely love my Husband and I am thrilled that we get a second chance. But I know I could handle it if I had to.
Life will never be the same.
I too hit those little land mines, when a thought enters my head. I am trying to get over it but I have also tried to make my Husband aware that he does need to acknowledge my pain and understand that I am having a hard time.
He is being loving and supportive.
He says the right things and is trying to make me happy.
I know he loves me and wants this marriage to work.

So I guess the bottom line is that it is my choice to let go, or at least try my hardest to move forward with my life.
I can't go on holding onto the resentment or the anger.
We can only build a better marriage from this point on.

Maybe the original foundation this marriage was built on was strong, that is why we have reached this point. Even if history was rewritten there had to be something there to be able to rebuild on or we never would have reached this point.

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.