Have seen a small improvement in the sit. with my w. We w, d16, s14, d12, d11 and I had a day out together. W has mostly declined outings with me and the kids since the separation.
We were talking on the Saterday and I asked what she had on on Sunday. W suggested we all go out for the day, so we did. This is the first time she has suggested we all go somewhere as a family since we seperated. When I say 'as a family' I mean w, kids and me. We have all been to family occasions together involving her parents and brothers and sisters etc, but not just us, alone as it were.
Also w had expressed interest in going to Al Anon eight or nine months ago and now is going to go to her first meeting tomorrow night. I am taking her as there is a meeting for me at the same time and location. I very happy that she has decided to take this step and hope that she will be able to get something out of it.
W started a myspace account and sent me a 'sign up as a friend' email. I followed it and did the be a friend bit. When I saw her space and started to have a read I saw that she had put her status as ... (drum roll please)... DIVORCED. The word she should have used is separated, I guess in her mind she is divorced. So I took my be a friend thingy back. W asked later why I hadn't signed up and I just told her that I didn't really go to or do myspace much so hadn't bothered.
Mixed signals if ever I saw them. D16 reminded me the other day that I had told her I would wait one month for every year w and I had been together. That means till November this year. The end of April marks the one year of separation that is needed in Australia before a divorce can be lodged. I won't be lodging one although the thought has crossed my mind a few times lately.
I find that now, some 14 months post bomb. that the w ant the sit, is not allways in my thoughts first thing in the morning and I can get through most of the day without thinking too much about the sit. But the sit. is allways there ready to ruin the moment if I let it.
W wanted to try to rent the dvd 'The Secret' last Saterday night. She couldn't get it. I was going to hang around and we would all get pizza and watch it. Couldn't get the video so I headed off home for the night. Got a rare phone call off the w on Saterday night that the film was on tv that very night. Spooky hey. So we got to watch it. although w and kids saw it a the family home and I saw it where I'm staying.
The Secret is, you create your own reality. What you ask for is what you get. If you think and believe everything is going to go wrong it will, on the other hand if you think and believe is going to be perfect it will be.
