Originally Posted By: Ophelia

So the only way is up, not forward on the same path. That's what the dream was telling me. Easier said than done, though.


I love your interpretation of your dream and what you gain from it!

Originally Posted By: ophelia
I think something that holds me back from really wanting to do fun stuff right now is that in the past, if I'd be doing something fun, I'd always want to share it with H, and us doing it together is part of what made it so fun. Stuff just doesn't mean as much when I can't share it with him.


That is how I feel whenever I think of going on trips too. I can't imagine him not being there with me. But then, I don't just want him back, I want him back and willing to work on our M. It helps me to think of all the great times we did have together because they can't be taken away and even if he shares other moments with others, those will still be our memories.

Originally Posted By: ophelia

Just one more thing then the latest novel will be done. ;\) I hate thinking about Valentine's Day. It's gonna be so damn miserable, because all I'll be able to think about is how sickeningly sweet H and his OW will be on their first VDay together. I try not to think about it, but everytime I see something relating to VDay, it's kinda hard to ignore.


Valentine's day never really bothered me one way or the other. But this year, I am like you. I understand how it can be such a gut wrenching day for single ppl. Everytime I see anything red and heartshape at the stores, I wish I could blow it all up. I have asked H to go to dinner with me. H said he would think about it. During one of my non DBing moments I pushed him for an answer. H finally said forget it. Now I don't even want to ask or bring it up. The thought of him going out with someone else haunts me too.

Sorry if I made you feel worst. That was not my intention.
Just wanted you to know there I share in your sadness.