We'll the weekend went pretty good. W seems to be fairly even keel and upbeat. The problem is I'm not quite sure what I am facing. Is it a change of heart, or just a front till "the hammer comes down". I'm hoping that there really has been a "re-think" of what she wants and we are on a uphill path. I feel that I have a better handle on my work sitch than my M. As much as things might seem to have improved, I don't know how much I can believe how things appear and the fear still stands strong. Luckily I think that it doesn't show, however I don't know how to really move back closer to W until she shows a first step.
This may sound odd but I do believe we can do this, however a C might have to get involved so that we can get better at communicating our feeling in regards to R. As much as I have tried to talk about it in the past, W has really not wanted to do so. The big hurdle I think is that perhaps she would rather "cut bait" than deal with the issues. Which as much as that might be an easy fix, I really don't want that to happen. There are still too many things I "like/love" about W that I would really feal a sense of missing and failure if they were to leave my life.
There is a bridge or stepping stone here that I need to find, but I just don't see it yet. I'm not the type to walk away, if nothing else, persistent to a fault. I told W when we got engaged that she was stuck with me for the rest of our lives and longer, some how I don't think she thought I meant it as much as I did. We'll I guess she knows better now.
Sorry about the rant, but I had to get some things out.
