I am making a consious effort to make every interaction with H a good one.
Thank you for your suggestions. It has been a while since we went to The LA Zoo. We can plan a trip there. As for the California Science Center, H and I were planning on participating in science overnight, but never got to it. I should look into that as well.
Journaling:
H called my cell phone and left a message on Sunday afternoon telling me he was going to do his best to get back on Monday night. It was nice to hear him not only telling me when he was going to be back, but in a way "promising" he will be back asap. Sounded like he wanted to be back as badly as I wanted him back. Even if H only missed our baby and not me.
My cousin called yesterday afternoon asking if I would like to go to dinner. She was going to come by and visit the baby and me, but wanted to know if I could go to dinner as well. Since my H said he was going to be back last night I wanted to be home when he returned. I called him about 4pm and he told me he was already on his way back home, but would need to stop by the company so he will be returning late. Calling him is a 180 for me. Since we use to make our own schedules, I would have gone and told him when I returned. H told me to go to dinner with cousin and he returned a couple of hours after I did.
I was already in bed with DD, but I was not asleep. H came in and turned on the lights. H normally doesn't turn on the lights when he returns late to avoid waking us up. I took that as a sign H wanted to talk to me. I got up as he fumbled through the mail with his back to me and gave him a big hug. No, I didn't forget that would be a violation of the no physical contact rule. Couldn't contain my excitment. H didn't seem to mind, but he didn't seem to encourage it neither. No matter what I was happy he was back so that didn't bother me. I got back under the covers again. H continued to talk to me telling me about the trip.
After some conversation, he announced he was going to shower. Since I have already gave him a hug earlier, one more couldn't hurt. This time he was facing me. He eventually placed his arms around me. For the first time in a long time. I told me it was because I haven't seen him for so long. Kissed him on the cheek and let him get to his shower.
H turned the lights off and went to shower. He was still in a talkative mood when he got back. H got in bed on the other side of DD. This time I shared my week with him as well. I held onto his hand during most of the conversation. H didn't withdraw his hand, so I pretend not to notice. Near the end I got on the same side of the bed and cuddle up next to him. We talked a while longer and I returned to my side and slept.
DD had some conjestion and woke up about 5 am and would not go back to sleep. Close to 6am, MIL took over and told me to go back to sleep. Yes! She is a wonderful woman. She wanted me to give DD meds, but I was didn't feel she needed it. I checked with H and he agreed not to. I tried to cuddle up next to him, but this time he withdrew. Now I wished I hadn't because it seems to negate any progress I may have made.
Called DH at work. DD seemed to be at a point where meds were needed. Wanted to consult/inform him meds will be given and her current condition.
Spoke to him again one more time today when he called to inquire about the whereabouts of our lab top.
From the short conversations over the phone, I guess I didn't screw up as bad as I thought. But I really don't know what he is thinking. I will try not to bother him for the next couple of days.
