That's a really good question. Unfortunately, one thing I've read and have come to accept is not everything can be resolved. Sometimes you just have to let it go. I have a similar communication problem. I still want answers about some things and there are things I really would like to discuss in what I think would be a non-threatening, relationship-building manner... but my H will get mad as well. I sometimes try tobe smarter and come up with different approaches that might work.
I wish these things that bother me could be resolved, but I'm starting to realize it may not be possible to resolve everything. But maybe some can, and just focusing on the most important one(s), and trying different approaches might be helpful.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
