I just read in a magazine an article /// by DR PHIL. And well love him or hate him he does make sense most of the time. I love him my brother hates him... anyway. ..."If you WANT a better marriage be a better partner..." PLAIN AND SIMPLE,, yes I know that is what I have known all along and what DB has taught me but also it helps me to keep going knowing if I can put a spin on this more and just give and give and give some more,, maybe just maybe my H will take my lead and soften up some and break down his wall. So if I want a beTter H then I need to get back out my DR book and start journalling more and also start my weekly goal list or at least monthly goal list again and become a better Wife. Breaking myself and down and looking at myself under a microscope again and replacing all my bad behaviors with good ones one at a time,, gives me alot to do.. cause I know better than anyone that I do have a wall up too just in case he hurts me again and so I guess I need to tear it down even if it means being even more vulnerable.. I have alot of work to do cause my fear leads me to alot of self defeating behavior and alot of mind wandering,,, and still the OW..///... BS filling my head with BS. I want that to change to and it will start now.....
I need to really take this seriously like I would anything else and really buckle down and get to work. I will be posting much more just to keep myself in order and keep my emotions recorded. I just love this place and I will keep trying and give up when the fat lady sings and not a moment before... Wish me luck!!!!! GOD BLESS...
