Thanks all for the interesting discussion (sorry for the mix up Mrs. Nop). I did google it and sent the links to H. I do think that the societal tide is turning on the subject so I don't think that there will be much social impact either way. The medical opinions don't really cover the sexual impacts just issues like infection, stds and cancer. In fact, I guess that is hard to really know - it stands to reason that less nerves = less pleasure. However, once you read through all that the official position of the medical community is that it is an unnecessary surgery. I have no idea what decision H will make about the subject but my 15yo clearly voted "no cut" when he overheard the discussion. I'll see what H says.
Corri - very interesting. I doubt many women our age have seen or been with an uncircumsized man.
We are getting very excited about the baby. Nesting is starting to happen at my house. I look like I have a basketball under my shirt. I can see feet, elbows etc... sticking out of my skin. Just like the movie Alien.
I guess this is more in the way of my own personal horror story rather than straight-forward advice. We chose not to get my DS circumcized. Anyway, it turns out that somewhat faulty ureters are a birth defect that run in my H's family and I was not aware of this. My DS developed a massive urinary tract infection at 4 mos. spiked a very high fever and had to be hospitalized for almost 2 weeks. He ended up having to be circumcized under anesthesia and he needed further surgery when he was older to fix his ureter. For many monthes he had a tube running out of his side from his kidney into his diaper and needed constant Bactrim.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
That is an awful story. I am so sorry. It is true that there are conditions that would require circumcision even after the decision is made not to circumsize. It really can be a d@mned if you do, d@mned if you don't kind of thing. In the end you just make the most informed choice you can and go from there.
I am certainly glad you and baby (and everyone else involved) are ok. Can't remember what your belief system is, but I'm glad a guardian something-or-another was watching over you.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
My parents decided not to have me modified when I was born but after some problems, I had to get it done when I was four. You hear people getting all up in arms about it. With some guys feeling like they have lost something they can never get back, I don't get that at all.
Yikes (regarding your auto accident) For the life of me, I cannot see where you posted about your accident Karen, aside from where you briefly mentioned it on my thread, but regardless I'm really glad you are all ok.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
This story relates to the topic of M because my H is a real hero in it and this is part of why I love him and continue to trudge through our issues.
Yesterday am I am headed South to work and the sun is in my face. I don't see the red light until too late and hit a car that is entering the "intersection" (intersection is an interesting term here as it is a semi-rural road, down a hill, doesn't look much like an intersection and the Southbound light is almost never red). Ok - so I hit her left front quarter panel, her car bounces and hits the side of my car (the side of DD2's carseat), my car continues it's forward momentum into a median between a light pole and a sign pole whereupon both air bags deploy and the windshield cracks because it is so cold. I walk away with a sore chest,nose and brow bone from the air bag, a bruise and small abrasion on my hip from the lap belt, bruises on my knees from the seatbelt and a very sore ankle from tensing and hitting the brake so hard. DD2 has not a nick on her. The other driver hurt her knees on her steering wheel. The Subaru and the car seat really performed. The car is totalled because it is older and the airbags deployed, hers is probably fixable. Needless to say, it is my fault and I feel like shit about it.
I went to hospital to have the baby monitored. My adrenaline was so high that my heart rate was 104 (normally 60), baby was 172 (normally in the 140's). After a while we both calmed down. So no bleeding, nothing broken, no one in need of surgery. Thank God. The cop encouraged me to go to court because my driving record is clean and there have been a lot of wrecks at that intersection for the same reason.
My H drove the hour down to where I was, cancelling his afternoon training on the way, calling the insurance company and calling my parents to meet him at the hospital too. He came in and stuck to the mantra of, " it's only a car, accidents happen, I'm just glad that everyone is ok, could happen to anyone..." Meanwhile I just feel like crap about it. I hate that we have to buy a new car. I hate that it was my fault. I hate that I endangered my babies. I am just filled with this shame and self loathing. H is nothing but supportive.
So, I am to rest for the weekend and can return to work on Monday. DD2 has asked some questions - Mommy's car is broken? I need a new car seat? She was so good, she barely cried, she answered anyone who asked anything. Wow. Me - I keep crying intermittently which I didn't do after the accident until I was in the ambulance. H is going to get a rental car and a new carseat.
That's it. H is a very good man, a good husband and I am a sh*thead for all the whining I do about not getting the attention and sex I want.
I am a sh*thead for all the whining I do about not getting the attention and sex I want.
Karen-- STOP THAT! Those two issues are NOT related.
What you went through was traumatic. Okay, so the sun was in your eyes-- there was no malice involved. The cop said there have been lots of accidents there. Please stop calling yourself names. Forgive yourself, forgive yourself, forgive yourself. Let yourself be scared, relieved, angry, grateful--- just stop calling yourself names, okay? Don't abandon yourself because of this... be kind to you and the baby and your sweet daughter. (Your H definitely gets a medal for his attitude.)
AND you still deserve to want sex and attention. This incident does not negate that, although it may give you some perspective.
