Mojo is 42

[MJontheMend]

Yes, that is a good enough answer: the answer is NO. There's nothing wrong with this answer; just realize that you are keeping yourself in this R with sheer will power.

Don't forget maternal nesting drive, fear of conflict, general wishy-washiness, distracted fantasizing, the support of this BB and the occasional espresso brownie.

Deflect, deflect, deflect.

I knew you would say this (sigh). At least I know what you mean when you say it now. That's an improvement, right?

Let me tell you a little story that may illustrate better why I continue to work at this relationship. I have a Type 4 friend named Karen. She actually sort of reminds me of a cross between you and BB Karen personality wise. When we were young we were both married to "slacker" LD men, although her H was more of the good-natured househusband variety. Anyway, about 10 years ago she became thoroughly fed up with her H and had an affair. She left her H and married the guy with whom she had the affair. When she did this what she said to me was "It is so great to be with someone who wants me.".She moved far away and I completely lost touch with her for the last 9 years. Recently, she gave me a call out of the blue. She had left husband 2 after 8 years because he became abusive. After she left husband 2 she and her first LDH tried to make it work again to no avail. Now she is living with the man that she was engaged to when we were all in high school together but she vows that she'll never marry again.

I guess the moral of this story to me is if I don't do a good job fixing me before I make a decision to leave this marriage I will either end up in another f*cked up situation or I will end up burnt out on the whole concept of being in a relationship. My current modus operandi in terms of fixing me is to ask myself "Am I doing everything possible to take care of myself the best that I know how?" and if the answer isn't "Yes." then I need to work harder at that.