We didn't go to MC in Jan, instead BB wanted to keep our promise to stuff envelopes, which we had signed up for before the MC called with his next open time, so maybe Feb might be a go.
BB is still friendlier than 6 months ago but still has some days where she thinks I do things to upset her out of my lack of caring about her needs, wishes, and wants.
An examples is, I don't turn on the light at night when I go to the bathroom, the dog walks in front of me, I almost step on the dog and someone make some noise in the process. BB thinks I am too lazy to turn on the light, but I didn't turn on the light because it disturbs her. Looks like a double lose.
Problem solved. No more getting up w/o turning on a light.
I felt I had to explain why I do things, based on past reactions she has had. I asked why she sees things so differently and often as her being the victim or me doing things to supposedly do to PO her.
I didn't say anything twice or explain things further or try to justify why I was right or why she was wrong. Hay, maybe I am getting better.
On another note, I did like the YouTube video about Deida. It reminded me of the "Dog whisper’s" policy, to own the space you occupy and control it by not letting the OP run over you.
I am still in a place of not asking for much but what I do ask for, I pursue with more determination. Like Lil and others have said or implied in other posts, sometimes not asking or expecting is the way to go.
There is a belief that if you want something picture yourself already possessing the thing or picture yourself reaching the goal, IE own it before you have it.
Well, doing that means I will likely have something I want, but when I don’t get what I want, then mentally, I have to give back what I wanted, return it, and that is sort of like winning a prize but the prize giver saying “sorry it was almost yours but something changed, not today. Better luck next time.”
I guess I don’t like to give up something I thought I had or what I thought I could count on. It is sort like having a Hershey bar in the pantry but not being allowed to eat it. For me, it is less frustrating not to even have the Hershey bar in the house..
Feb might be a go.