Should I even be here?

[BeingMe]

I used to often think that it would've been nice if my H and I had gone through this MLC cr*p at the same time, then we both could've had A's, rewrote our past, etc. But, it never works out that way, 'eh!?

I think you are doing awesome, Ron. Don't over-analyse too much though. I have a tendency to do that. If you don't want to be friends, then don't be. You owe your XW nothing. Sure, it's good to be on friendly terms, for the sake of the kids, but friendship is another thing. I wonder if it can happen after a breakup of a long M. I'm not so sure.

Also, try not to see things in gender terms. Women are usually better communicators, but seeing all these WAW's makes me wonder at generalities. Obviously, these women were not very good at communicating their problems to their shocked and surprised H's, 'eh. So, it's not necessarily true that women would build up more resentments. One would generally assume that women are the naggers, but in my case, that's not so ... my H is a big nag, and if I don't respond to the nagging, he gets resentful (at least, he used to, but he is improving). We are all individuals in our own right.

I guess the thing is to remember the good times in the past, and move forward into the future and make new memories with other people, and sitches. Even though I am in piecing, I still wonder at where I would've been if I had gone through with the D. I wonder if I did the right thing staying. I think about what I would do, if presented with another A, and I know I will be okay.

Anyway, I am just waffling on here, and not sure if I've given you any real advice, just encouragement to move forward, and I think you are doing so, with a great positive attitude. Stay that course, and who knows what exciting things the future holds.