It doesn't sound to me as though you are trying to tell him what to do. On the contrary, you would like him to share with you what he has decided to do.
BTW, sounds like H is skilled in throwing big stuff at you to silence you. Can I just say, YUCK!
"Gee H, where did that come from. I thought we were talking about X and all of the sudden you are assaulting me with bizarre random threatening comments. Yuck. I don't think that is going to get us anywhere. Let's go back to X."
