Hi all, old thread locked up and once again I don't know how to attached it here.

For those of you that follow my sitch you know that I have been having a hard time with the amount of hours my H is spending at work. Yesterday we had to go to the bank together when he got home and while we were there I noticed that his breath smelled like beer. At first I didn't say anything, then when we were leaving he asked if I wanted to stop for a drink and I said "didn't you do that already?" He smiled and changed the subject, so I let it drop. We went out to a local place and met some friends there and had fun.

Around 2:30 in the morning I could tell that he was awake so I said we need to talk. He pulled me in his arms and asked if it was about our money situation. I then told him that I didn't believe him when he said he stays after work "talking" and does he want to be married to me or not. Of course, he admitted nothing and denied everything and said he loves me and wants to stay married. We ended up ML and it was great and then he had to go to work.

As I was laying there after he left I had time to think. I was thinking of all of H's good qualities and how little I do as a wife to encourage those qualities. My H never complains, about anything. I on the other hand complain everyday about something. Geez, I would sure get sick of listening to me. This is something I need to work on.

There have been lots of days that I have thought about leaving the marriage, I want to leave because I am not getting my way, like a spoiled little child, hoping that H will run after me and beg me to stay. That just isn't gonna happen. Someone slap me (insert 2x4 here). We were wonderful together once and could be again, actually I think we could be much better as I have learned so much about relationships over the past 15 months. I took H and his love for granted for so long, never nuturing it, always putting everyone and everything before him. I can't do that anymore, I truly love and adore him (as OW probably does too) and I don't want to lose him.

He is here with me and says that he loves me. This is my second chance and I don't want to blow it. I don't want our R to go back to the way it used to be before the bomb. Help me to stay on course and not lose sight of my wonderful future.

Sorry for rambling.