Thank you all. Yes, I know I have to be strong, as heart-rending as that is right now. But I'm not sure I was ever a "rock" - I was always as confident as I could be, but I've had my own bouts of depression and despair over the years. I got better at handling my own life and problems, but nothing has forced me to be as rock-like as this.
About being a monster - I feel like I'm getting tarred with a really wide brush. I really don't care, but I'm afraid that validating her feelings will support her view of me and maybe make it worse.
You know, as if she would say,"you were always selfish and unfeeling," and I said, "yes, I see what you mean." I wasn't always like that - I tried hard to be selfless and sympathetic. God, if she believes the worst about me now, what's it going to be like later?
I looked over the MLC "timeline" and it seems like she cycles through these stages. Maybe it holds for any transition stage in the personality. I'm just wondering how much of a guide I have in understanding this whole thing. If I made better sense of it, it would be a bit easier to be strong.
Right now, I don't know what to do other than listen, wait, and tough it out. I'm going by the DB frame.
But when she has brought up going to a therapist, I didn't know what to do either. If I say "great" she feels pressured. If I say "oh, ok, later" she feels I'm holding her in limbo.
Right now though, the only therapy she wants is breakup therapy. What should I do?
And I feel guilty about the GAL thing. She's in misery, and it's like I want to be there too - it's one of the only ways we're really close these days.
