I'm in the twilight zone with you. Can't remember the last time I wanted to have S-E-X. I think about it fleetingly all the time and don't follow through. I'm too tired, its too late, I know how it ends after all, its too cold, I'd rather snuggle up and get a back rub. Oh. My. God. I always knew I never had much physical desire, but the emotional desire seems to have waned. He does initiate regularly and I don't turn him down. I get into it once we start.
The difference in my situation is that H hasn't seemed to notice, or atleast he hasn't been vocal about it. There was one time that he complained that 'I was just lying there,' but other than that I haven't heard much about it. There are the general grumblings that I am never in the mood or that I take too long but I've discounted those as coming from the man who has always loved quickies.
Oddly, the desire for sexual validation has waned too. I actually am more conscious about my weight and health, and I want to feel good and feel sexy, but that doesn't translate to actually wanting sex.
Part of me wants to just let things lie. There is plenty of other good stuff going on. But the other part of me is now thinking that this is the dynamic that got us into trouble in the first place. We started out with him HD and me in this LD place, and eventually he decided not to bother initiating because it was too much trouble. I just don't want to go there again.
Things have been SOOO good otherwise. H has really stepped up to lead in a lot of areas. He is doing great at work and is happy with himself. He has really been more social, we have been going out more. When I suggest some social/cultural activity, he surprises me by readily agreeing and even planning the details. I find myself in the oddly LD position there too by worrying about the babysitter while he makes reservations and plans. I am really enjoying watching this side of him and it makes me want to be more feminine. Not translating into sexual feelings though.
Sigh. Life and its curveballs. I think I will take a page out of Corri's book tonight and try teasing.
