step one, you must do something for you before you implode. I reccommend massage but maybe you guys don't like that touchy stuff.
My spouse has done the same thing, on-again, off-again, IloveOP, I have doubts...at least 3 times they have had the big breakup, OP even put spouses things out on the front porch!!! But somehow these two pillars of strength always find each other again!
What about telling your wife you must respect her decisions so you won't "hold on" to her? (I know you want to grab her by the ankles and drag her back to sanity but you can't) Ask her what you could do to ease her "internal death"...(tempting but don't go there) Listen, don't talk, say "I see" "uh huh" "ok" etc and look like a saint. But BEFORE YOU DO THIS DO SOMETHING TO RECHARGE YOUR BATTERIES or you will have no reserves and will melt before the end of the conversation.
Have you talked to a DB coach on the phone? Can you afford it? Pricey but very worthwhile. Very solid, planned strategies to get some movement going. Hang in there dude. We all feel your pain, which is no help whatsoever but still true. (I am planning a shovel party where we beat cardboard cut outs of spouse or OW/OM...sharpen up your shovel and come on down!)
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
