Hi sis! I had a busy 4-5 days with school stuff for D7 but today I should have time to play, as she was up all night vomiting.
I have thought alot about this and realized that everything I did, sexually, was so calculated. I didn't even realize it then but it was. I had lots of practice in doing a lesser version of Corri's Tease but, sis, it was all to 'prove' something. Or to elicit a reaction--any reaction--from MrH. I thought I was doing it out of love at the time, or desire, but I can see clearly now that there was an ulterior motive lurking..always. There is no doubt in my mind that he saw and felt it too.
So now I'm left with accessing my true, real sexual desire FOR HIM. (there was nothing fake about my desire for him, before, but it had a large drama component to it and I'm struggling without it) Things have been good lately. I feel desire and he's been good at not going beta on me. Even just thinking about sex regularly keeps me revved. The different and bizarre thing is having to make a conscious effort to do so instead of my brain just being flooded with em.
MrsNOP, Good to hear from you! I'm glad you found something useful in my ramblings. Just wanted to clarify that the Missing Feeling I'm talking about post-sex is not physical. It's very much emotional. The on-top-of-the-world feeling. I mean, sure, I felt revved up and ready for another go-round but this, by itself, would not have been enough to immediately motivate me for round 2. (I do, after all, need sleep at some point, lol) No, it was the emotional high that caused me to start wondering When Will It Happen Again almost immediately afterwards. Now, I just don't think that way! I still physically enjoy it every bit as much, and maybe even more paradoxically, but afterwards there is no emotional high--I simply feel physically sated. Weird! School is going great, I'm starting to dream about next year..what books, what curriculum, etc.
