Peter: I do not know your story.. how long you have been separated and how new the knowledge of the affair is for you. I have to say that the old adage of time will heal is true, somewhat. I now no longer feel pain at the thought of H and the OW. But it took me a long time to get here and a lot of nasty things that my H did to me and I heard a lot of stories about how he was hiding the affair from his co-workers.. before a numbness moved in and then finally a genuine feeling that she (OW) was welcome to him! Now my big source of pain over this OW is related to the kids.. I HATE the idea of her being around my kids and influencing them.. she a total slut as far as I can tell with little to no morals.. so it absolutely makes me bananas to think of her in my kids' lives! No matter how many times I tell myself that there is nothing I can do and that I need to let go of the issues as I have no control.. it doesn't help.. I am hopeing a little more time will help me out there.. but so far.. I'm still struggling!
Sandsmithy: In athe beginning I used to tell my H what the kids said to me and then I got accused of trying to manipulate him so I stopped. The other day when I mentioned in passing that i still get grief from the kids he said.. oh, why didn't you tell me? You should tell the kids to talk to me about it! I just laughed at him and changed the subject.. he doesn't get it.. they don't talk to him because it is futile and I don't tell him as it gets thrown back in my face! he says he wants to be involved but than he does what he damn well wants! The amusing thing is when I see obvious contratidictions in his behavior and words I usually let him know, and he never has a response.. he looks like a fish opening and closing his mouth and I generally just make my point and end the conversation... I mean geez.. what a selfish little ****.
