For what it's worth, I agree with COG. I think your e-mail was harsh, snippy and a bit defensive. But it all depends on your desired outcome. If you truly don't care whether the door is open for your H to return someday, then do whatever you feel like doing. You will hear plenty of justification for it, because after all, they are Jerks with a capital J while in MLC. But here's the thing Nicola. Your H is in therapy. And I believe he is trying to be nice. His tone seems kind, not demanding. I know you are mad, dissapointed, impatient, whatever. But you came on to these boards because you wanted to save your M, right? So just for a minute, think the best of your H. What if he is confused, afraid he has screwed up so badly he will lose everything he cares about. What if he is acting like he knows what he wants just to save face, because you already look happy and like you have moved on? Just for the possibility that H MIGHT be on the road to recovery, I would encourage you to take your anger here and elsewhere, and try to listen to H each time as if it is the first time. Try to stay in the now. Listen to his words, his tone. And think, if he was a 12 year old best friend of my son, how would I respond? I believe he is trying, Nicola. Just for a little longer, perhaps you can give him the benefit of the doubt? You can always date all those cute men later, if your H is truly lost. But you know, the LBS usually moves on in impatience about a year before the WAS has an epiphany. Patience might save the day here, for your M and your kids.... Just my two cents. Thanks for listening.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
