Journey of a Happy Heart

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Hi Nicola

I am so glad you and the kids had a good time. Your kids will have the memories of this weekend forever and it will be something that your H will not be able to share with them. Too bad. He will realize it when they are too old to want to spend a winter carnival weekend with him. It reminds me of the Cat Stevens song, Cats in the Cradle that used to make me cry every time I heard it. My XH would never be there for our boys when they were growing up. I always swore that I would always be there for them and I have. I never want to get old and have any regrets on having missed out on any moments in their lives.

I didn't see anything wrong with your email. COG felt that the email would put your H on the defensive, well I felt like your H put you on the defensive. I have to agree with you that if he had made plans then he should have told you. His priority should have been his kids regardless what time you came home. Even if he was feeling insecure about you having a good time, it doesn't make it right for him to be in control of your time. If he was concerned about YOU not being home because you indicated that you would be home by a certain time, then I can understand his reason for calling.

The fact that he had made plans, it sounds to me like he made plans while he was at your place since he didn't know what time you were planning to be home. It sounds to me like he is still acting like a teenager; selfish and with no responsibility or concern for anyone else. Sorry COG but sometimes I think the more we "baby" them, the more we feed into their selfishness.

He just told me a couple of weeks ago that he's still seeing the T, but really just to "bounce ideas off him," as he supposedly knows exactly what he's doing.

Your H likes to think that he knows exactly what he is doing because right NOW this is the life he wants. Nicola, I have heard it too many times from friends of mine (including my H) who had left their Hs saying that they knew exactly what they were doing. As I've already posted on my thread my friends have all come to the realization that they may have made the biggest mistake. My H being the last one of the 4 to leave his spouse isn't quite there yet. There does come a time for everyone when they truly reflect on the mistakes they have made but we just don't know when that will be. Unfortunately, only a few actually get to fix what they broke.

You sound so strong and I admire you for having to put up with a 41 year old teenager and doing it with self control and poise. I'm glad you had a great time on your night out and making new friends is just what you need. Sometimes our WAHs truly need to be hit with a 2 x 4.