Dang thread just locked.....yes it started with 2 yrs-then 4 yrs the 5 yrs...then 10 yrs,,,the 25 yrs.....i will call lawyer tomorrow. Just seems so overwheming right now....and seems to think he has the right to wander back in after the divorce after i piece myself to gether. everytime I think i have this under control i get another knife in the back.....I have run out out of trying to tell myself he knows not what he does. I have gathered proof for the lawyer on the spending Oh my..he might get his new motorcycke repo'd because he cant make payments.......maybe he is running out of money faster than i thought for his whore.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Well my H had his BMW repo'd....I got to see that...well part of it because he asked me to leave.....he thought he was going to be able to talk the tow truck driver out of taking it....I told him the talking should have been done over the previous 6 months when he wasn't making any payments!!!....but that is where their thinking is....plug the leak when the ship sinks!
My H is extremely intelligent....but I can't tell you how STUPID he acted....and sometimes still does....when he was in the throws of his MLC...
Filing divorce will do the same as a legal seperation will in protecting you from his debt....the date of seperation has to be listed...anything before that you share....anything after is all his...I would still make sure to flag your credit so that NOTHING new gets opened up with your name attached.....
I can guarantee that OW will not hang around long after the money is gone...and if all the neat toys get repo'd....I mean she isn't going to want to ride on a skateboard or take the city bus!!!
It is sad we can see where their life is headed yet they think it is going great....and when they hit the bottom....or the brick wall...which ever comes first....they just seem so surprised....I mean my H was shocked that they were taking his BMW....I said "You didn't make payments for over 6 months what did you expect!"....he said it hadn't been that long....when I asked what he would do now he said he had a bike and this was just a minor inconvenience!....he then got a used Van....huge interest rate because of his repo'd car....and then one night while he was "visiting" me it got repo'd from my parking lot.... it was then that I finally understood why he hadn't put his license plates on yet....he had them in the van but not ON it... he was hoping a repo guy would be too stupid to find the van without the plates!....well they found it....so then he ended up working his butt off at a minimum wage temp. job to get enough money to buy "our" van back from my dad....I refused to give him the money to buy it....
MLC'ers doing the stupidest things....even if they are the smartest people....beginning with leaving behind a loyal spouse who loved them unconditionally for someone who is only there for what they can get and will be gone when there is nothing left!
Hang in there pws....you are not alone....but H will be soon!...
so u r saying get seperated to stop financial ruin even while D is in process???? I almost laughd when he told me about motorcycle.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
imLin, the financial info was good to know thanks.
pws,when the cash is gone...she will be too. Afterall why else is she there? Let's face it sex with somebody twice your age can be ok, but remember what 25year old men were like? do, and the older guy really offered financial security (?). Well, they might. I've always had a thing about NOT dating men that were married, seperated or recently divorced. Just me. May karma visit her in spades. Take care of yourself and hugs.
If the divorce is filed there is no need to do a legal seperation....
And what Grace said about the sex....yes, older guys are more experienced (I would hope) but they can't keep up....my H finally admitted that the weekends he spent with OW consisted of ONE sex session....I said "What?...You have got to be kidding me!"....He said while he can last (this I know) the "recharge is longer"....he couldn't perform more then once with her no matter how exciting things were....he said she always wanted more but he couldn't do it....then later when health problems caused him to be pretty much impotent he said he appreciated my patience and commented that she would have been "MAD" at him....I asked why she would have been mad it wasn't like he wanted to be....he said that is how she was....she would have been mad if she didn't get sex....so while the "young thing" might be exciting and even cute they don't have experience and patience that us older gals have....
So basically when the money is gone there is NOTHING left for them and they move on....but while the money is there the stupid MLC'er likes to believe that the OW is really head over heals about him and loyal....all the stuff that feeds their ego...because remember they have experience....which as a mature woman I would take any day over inexperience....but without money the OW won't be happy....because the $$$ is there excitement....
well i can look back and see alot of sexually what Newman talked about over at 4060 was starting to happen so he was in trouble before it got started...little things that made sense after this all happened and i read newmans blogs. oh yes give me a mature man...i would never even as young woman attemped a relationship with a married man.....something about morals.....which it seems OWs in general seem to lack....this one was married dumped hers for mine as a mealticket ...left the poor guy devastated
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
What goes around comes around, even if we don't get to be there to see it. At 25 she may be too "young" (as in immature)to realize what she's done. However, one of my ideas of He** is that we have to really see the pain we've caused WITHOUT any rationalizations, excuses, etc. And your right about the morals thing I would doubt she can spell the word let alone know what it means.
i think she knew damn well what she was doing.....doesnt let h off the hook but she is crafty , cold and street wise....she lived with her H in a poor mill town and wanted out...
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
i went skiing again with that guy i met....friends just friends....we have decided to be good friends and listen to each others woes...and we enjoy each others company and i end up feeling good about my self. that cant be a bad thing.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
i went skiing again with that guy i met....friends just friends....we have decided to be good friends and listen to each others woes...and we enjoy each others company and i end up feeling good about my self. that cant be a bad thing.
you are treading on shakey ground if you are really trying to stand for your marriage....many many start out listening "to each others woes....and end up feeling good about" ourselves...that is how EA start...and EA lead to PA without our even realizing it...
I too got involved "as friends" with a man who was going through the same thing as me....it caused me to take my mind off of my marriage to the point that I filed for divorce a second time.... we both realized that it was heading quickly to a more serious relationship and I then realized that I was not ready (in so many ways) to be involved with anyone....thankfully, because of my stopping that friendship from going any further I now have my H back....
It is a very risky thing that you are doing....and if you really want to stand for your marriage you might want to re-evaluate this friendship....
I am not judging you...maybe you are done....only you know...but my caution is to be VERY sure....and to be VERY sure that you are whole again....rebounds don't always work out and until you can without pain or tears say you are over H then you are still rebounding...
