Sometimes, just a bit of open communication makes a whole lot of good. I decided to call my wife, and simply (calmly and with respect) tell her how I felt and tell her that I only needed for her to know how I felt, not to fix anything. She just repeated what I said...as if she understood: "So you feel like I am available when I have our daughter but not availabe when you do." BINGO. She then said: "We could do something Saturday morning?" I simply told her that I did not want her to try to fix anything, just realize how I felt, and that I needed her to know...before it became a problem. I felt like:
we had made plans for this weekend
She changed those plans without really given me a reason
I was available when she had our daughter, but she wasn't when I had her
when she has our daughter, she drops by unannounced, calls often, makes many "family" plans
If I did all of these things, it WOULD be a problem
She told me to call her tomorrow night..she had told me that she had plans already, but that was a lie...she simply did not want to come to my parents' for my Dad's B-day. I told her it would be better for her NOT to make up stories...that I would accept and respect her wishes, her desire NOT to come.
So I guess I'll call her tomorrow, although I feel like leaving her a voice mail...simply telling her how much it helped to simply be heard!
