If you have fallen into a pattern that doesn't work, change it at your end to break the pattern. Do you have to spend EVERY evening with your wife during your D's stay with her? Plan at least a nite or two (maybe more) during those weeks for Steph to do his own thing. Plan a weekend for Steph (or at the very least when she calls don't answer right away. Catch a few more zzzz's, then call her back later). If you make yourself less available when she has D with her, and she feels the need to spend the same amount of "family" time together, then she will need to do some of that during your week with D.
