My D5 has done a little bit of that too...it ripped my heart out one day to overhear her telling her daddy that she misses him and he needs to come home. He laughed at her, "you're so funny". That's how he protects himself: makes it all a joke.
Let's stay strong and keep the faith. You know what I wrote on Believing Isaiah's thread....2007 is for restoration. Let's keep that faith!
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Big weekend coming up. My family is going to a cabin for four days, H is coming along for two, and then leaving for his business trip to OW's city.
I've been tossing thoughts around in my head: do I request reassurance from him? do I just say nothing? what messages do I send with either action?
All I've come up with thus far is to just let it be. He's not 100% committed to our M--I know that. He'd be at least sleeping at home and (I'd like to think) trying a lot harder to be here for me if he were. So if I ask, it'll be pushing, and he'll tell me what he thinks I want to hear. I'm so sick of lies. So there it is.
Does my complete lack of pursuing open the door for OW? Maybe. I guess time will tell.
Like I have been told...be the loving fun person that he would want to be around. Maybe suggest something that the 2 of you could do when he gets back from his trip. BUT PLEASE DON'T BRING UP OW!!!
Take care of yourself this weekend and try to keep the faith!
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
H came home for supper last night, ate and left (hadn't seen or heard from him since the previous evening). As he was leaving, I said, "I'm making some brownies...if you want, you can stop by for some when you're finished for the night." He said they sounded good and he'd see me later. (I don't hold him to his word on casual comments like this...keeping expectations low is my saving grace. We'll work on that when we get to piecing.)
He called around 11:00...was just finishing up his project for the night, had to stop at a guy's house to help with a computer issue, and then was coming over. Knowing that he rarely gets those jobs done as quickly as he says, I went to sleep. He woke me up around 2:00 a.m., talked for a minute and asked about my Saturday plans, then left. I guess he really wanted to see me! Normally he would just call or...not.
I have to say, I was surprised he actually came over. But it was nice, and it feels much better than the more common (mild) let-down when he doesn't do what he says he will.
Way to go on keeping your expectations low! I am glad that your H came over. That was nice even if it was brief. If you would have waited up for him and then he didn't show you would have been carrying around a huge dissappointment all day today.
Low expectations are key to surviving this mess, that and trying to remain happy and positive in the face of things. Have a great weekend!
I'm having a harder time this morning. H made absolutely no contact yesterday. I did call him briefly out of necessity: I dropped S2 off to him while I braved Walmart with my two other kids (believe me, it was much more pleasant for all involved parties ). Other than that...nada.
What does that mean?! I know it could be much worse. Still, his lack of effort makes me feel anxious, disrespected and taken-for-granted. I feel a lot of anger that he doesn't seem to value me or our family, that he seems so happy to be living a life free of responsibility and obligation...meanwhile I am super-woman holding our home and family together with my magic lasso. Said magic lasso is starting to unravel, so I'm having to put my super-stretchy arms around everything too...don't know how much more I can hold.
I know, I know, I will not do anything stupid. Just need to vent.
We are leaving today for the cabin trip. Will be driving separate vehicles so H can leave early for his work trip (YUK). I guess I'd better get going--H surely won't be helping to get everything ready. GAH.
I'm still on my family trip...H left for home this morning, but he's putting his work trip off for another day or two. He did several nice little things for me, and tolerated a large cabin-full of my large family (five brothers and sisters with their families) pretty well. I need to get better at focusing on the good things, and let the others just go.
I've been emotionally up and down, though I'm trying to be easy-going and let things just be. (I think girl hormones are wreaking havoc on my roller-coaster.) Unfortunately, H is very sensitive to these things, and I worry about my mistakes.
So, I'm feeling extremely insecure (all my issue), and need to pull my head out of this funk.
). Other than that...nada.