No need to jump ship so soon. Remember the same intense emotions you are feeling, he is feeling his own version of the same emotions. Throw in some guilt and shame on his end and he has quite a bit more pressure being applied. As much as you feel like tossing in the towel, imagine what he is feeling. On top of this, earlier this week, he stated he liked the changes, just didn't know if they were for real.
Let things cool down for a few days. Montra #2 NEVER MAKE A DECISION BASED ON EMOTION. There is a high probability your emotions will lead you done the wrong path.
As far as the OW goes, let her out of your mind. Ya, easy to say, I know. BUT, if you have looked at the websites I sent to you, you will find that approx. 85% of affairs end and the best way for an affair to end is to fizzle out. That means time. Time for the infactuation, the sneaking around, the excitment of something forbidden to wear off. Add to that the pressures of children, financially assisting 2 seperate households, etc.. the grass starts to look a little brown with time.
This is why patience is such a huge factor. This is why concentrating on what you can control is paramount. It is the reason, PMA and GAL and acting As If are of such importance. If you can begin to incorporate these into your daily lifestyle, the patience will come much easier, because you effectively remove most of the drama that sets you off.
Also, as an excercise, when you feel yourself getting worked up, excuse yourself from the convo. I know you can feel it coming. Even say, "I need to excuse myself, I'm getting upset" then leave. I know he will understand it and I bet he will also look at it as a positive.
Go back and self evaluate. For the time you have been an the BB, can you identify a pattern between you and your H in regard to how well you are interacting? I know I've seen some highs and lows since I've been responding. How do they happen? I believe you are getting caught in a cycle of behavior. Michelle, outlines this in DR. First A happens, then B happens and the result is C. This is very typical of any relationship. The key is being able to recognize it and then BREAK THE CYCLE. Don't repeat the action if it isn't working. Not only that, but whenever he sees an action he doesn't like, it furthers the justification in his head. When he sees an action he does like, it erases part of those actions. Focus on the positive, you know they are there, let go of the negative, they don't solve anything.
So, don't throw in the towel. That option sucks, trust me. It also effects kids far more than you know.
I'll throw this out also. 218.348.3452 thats my cell number. I will answer. When your feeling like you can't go on... CALL!
