Is anyone here separated and going through a divorce and your H got OW pregnant? thats what im facing, H hasnt seen the kids in almost a yr now and found out that OW is preg and there both denying its his, baby due in Feb, baby was concieved when H was living in apartment with her and i believe that OW is living with him at my inlaws house, me n H spoke last night and had major atitude, i heard another kid there i think she has a kid she said that shes a single mother and what goes on between her and my H is none of my business then she says shes preg, H gained alot of weight has a new wardrobe has his hair the same as he was back in highschool, i dont see any hope for my marriage he has time for OW and her kid and baby on the way but dont have time for the 2 kids that we have together, we get along when OW isnt around, is there any hope, i need advise quick, we have temp hearing within the next month
I see that no one has responded to you yet. Perhaps it is because yours is a rather unique situation (given the pregnancy). My WAW had (and may still be having) a PA with OM. We've been separated since the first of Oct. and she filed for D three weeks later. As a result, there are a few similarities to you, but some key differences as well.
Still, I'll offer what I can. It is said that where there's life, there's hope. This is true and as much in your case as any other. But the situation is not good and you need to prepare yourself for the worst while at the same time working to save your M (if that's what you want to do).
You provided few details about how you are feeling, what you are currently doing, the lead-up to your pending D, etc. so it's hard to comment very much. Have you read Divorce Busting or The Divorce Remedy? If so, are you doing the Last Resort Technique? Are you seeing a good counselor? Please fill in a few more details for the benefit of those who would offer their insight and experiences to you.
As a fellow Oregonian, I know the draw back home. Still, as I type, I hear the rain beating against the window and wonder if the gloominess outside is dragging my spirits down. Perhaps a different area with fairer weather is a blessing in disguise.
Please keep us posted on your situation. There are lots of helpful, supportive folks in these forums and I'm sure you'll get a lot of good advice.
Well H filed a response we have a temp hearing and he putin the response that cs should be based on his income and other dependent minors that he has to support, temp hearing is Feb 12, either OW will still be preg, already have baby or will go to labor while he is gone thats if he even shows. and he has no attorney and my attorney said for visitation that we will put down that comes where im at and that OW can not be around my kids or me so pretty much he can leave her in OR where she belongs, thats gonna cause a fight between them and H got mad when i asked was he coming to court he said t hat he didnt know there was a tem-p hearing when my atty mailed the papers out jan 9th and court already ordered mediation for sometime after hearing.
I think you should just let your attorney make the calls to him. That is what you are paying him for. Stay away from contact with your H. If he wants to call the kids, let him talk to them but you don't talk to him at all. I find when I do this, it is easier. I usually answer the phone and then say hang on and give the phone to the kids. This way I am not tempted to say something I may regret.
Let your attorney take care of everything. I know you didn't want to go down this road and I am sorry you are but I guess there is a time when you need to just let go. Let your H find out he made a mistake. He will have to do this on his own though. If you keep harrassing him, you just keep pushing him further away. Give him space and let go.
I agree with trying_2_stay_positive. Time to detach. Just as DB/DR says, you are taking the focus off the failing M and your H's role in it and placing the spotlight on yourself. This does not help you and masks, for your H, the issues he should be facing.
