Well I'm not going to be too explicit about the tactics but, in essence, this is how it went.
At some point early on in the relationship, about 6 months in if I recall correctly, we had a discussion about what each of us did that the other found really sexy. There was quite a list and many of the actions were quite subtle. After a while it became clear that some of these actions were really powerful stimulants and they have remained so over the years.
The other aspect that we discussed was what we would do if one wanted sex and the other just wasn't in the mood. In this case, we agreed that there was nothing threatening if the person wanting sex 'looked' after themselves so long as we were together at the time. I had a lower spinal problem for a few weeks that was too painful for me to engage in love making. During that period when J wanted sex, I just held her tightly while it was sorted! It turned out to be a really close, loving and intimate experience.
