Your recent sitch reads just like the "classic" pursuit and distancing dance. You stopped pursuing and he started it! If I understand what I've read, you need to keep on living your life and staying distanced until you reach a "real" happy medium that is not merely a reaction to him. If you return to pursuing him he will most probably start to distance again. Now mind you, this is just what I've read, but your sitch looks pretty classic, and just like the way it is described in The Solo Partner.
Good luck and give yourself a big pat on the back for being able to pull back so well.
