BF, Thank you for your reply. I didn't say anything about the negative comment because there were a lot of positives and I didn't want one thing to ruin the whole picture. I just don't get why he has to throw in a jab here and there...our lives would be so much nicer without it. But I am determined not to let the jabs interfere with the progress I have made in terms of intimacy.
I like your responses, and I am going to keep posting the jabs to get ideas on how to better handle them. I know they come from a place within H where he isn't feeling good with himself, so overall I don't personalize the way I used to. And he does offer so much of the good stuff now that I would be doing myself a disservice if I only focused on the problematic stuff.
I appreciate your paying attention to the kooky stuff that revs me up...I do want to change this. At baseline I am LD for the typical lovey-dovey stuff that's supposed to turn on normal people. But I can learn. And maybe I just protect myself because my H does throw in the jabs, so it's hard to connect to him out of a sense of love. Physically he is a beautiful man though I don't tell him that enough...I guess emotionally it's been difficult and I am screwed up from it all.
