steph, I know where you are... been there... done that... think i'll do it again... be forewarned that it is typically when you reach the point that you are at now that the was does start to come around.... for now stay with how you feel... it will help you. It sounds like you are just tired and fed up with the "game" basically I think in most cases it becomes a game of cat & mouse... we chase they run we stop chasing they look back and say hey why aren't they chasing why aren't they down??? let me take a look back and see what's going on.... it is enough to drive you crasy!!!!
hope that you are finding a new peace with yourself (wich is sounds like you are) enjoy the new phase you've entered hold onto it as long as you can!!!
