Astimegoeson, Thank you so much! It has been such a confusing time for me...we found out about mom's illness just as things were falling apart between my h & me. i finally had to tell h to leave. sometimes i would think he was coming back; he told me several times he did not love me & was not coming back...after a few months, i finally accepted things as they were and started moving on w/ my life-i had found happiness. h started wanting to spend time w/ me so i agreed-was open & honest w/ him. at first it was o'k...guess he got to thinking & became angry...it has been touch & go the past few weeks. what hurts the most is that he is not here for me right now...but when i look at the big picture, i see that i am o'k...it hurts losing my mom; but, i am getting through this w/o him and i am o'k. if h decides yet again to work things out, i will give him one more chance...i have promised not to bring up his past mistakes, he will have to learn to accept what i have/have not done...i never even got to meet my special friend. he promised he would go to counseling w/ me...that has yet to happen; but, i feel strongly about us going....we will have to to get past everything. well, thanks again for taking the time to respond, it made me feel good to hear from someone after being gone for so long. mom's funeral is this afternoon...it will be a busy day. love to all, deb
