Thank you all so much for your posts with suggestions to help me. I really appreciate it.
I think I was managing with focusing on myself as SDfoundgirl suggests for the first weeks of reconciliation but now that H and I are doing more things together and sleeping in same bed it doesn't seem to be working because I feel like we are back together which obviously we are not completely yet.
Quote:
Inpain, I can sense the anxiety and panic in your writing.
Absolutely right Astimegoeson. I am in total panic all the time - I worry about everything I say or do with H in case it makes him want to leave. I haven't seen my Dr. I'm not sure what IC stands for. However, you have reminded me that someone suggested I get these herbal tablets you can get over here that calm you down when the bomb first dropped but I couldn't take them at the time as I was still breastfeeding S. Now that I am not I think I might get some and see if it helps.
After all I will only need to take them until H looks like he is really here for good and starts to be more intimate right? Then I think I'll feel more secure. That is the saddest part of this reconciliation stuff - I used to feel so safe and secure in my M and with my H and now I don't - it has all gone - I cannot trust him with my feelings or my heart and this is a man who held my hand through very painful IVF treatment and now I wouldn't trust him to hold my hand to cross the road
