Yes, I read that also. I guess I'm also hoping that OW will not stand for the constant contact H has with me and that will wear her down, like she can never have him properly because of our S and H's commitment to S...I know, I know...I can't control what other people do or think but I'd be lying if I didn't think about occasionally.
Understandable. This is such an awful sitch to be in, we try to find comfort in what we can. If it provides you with some comfort, why not?
Originally Posted By: geordie
So, really even though he moved out, he is actually spending more time here in our home than he is with her, even though I'm not generally present. She only has him on a Monday really as Sunday is a dead day with him turing his scheudule around back to dayshift. See what I mean by "Bizarre Situation"?!! My concern though is that the A may last much longer since they really aren't spending much time together despite the fact they supposedly live together. Almost like it is still an A because they have never spent more than a few consecutive days together (when I was in UK and so he didn't look after S). The PA started in July although OW had been making a play for him long before and my guess is that she was having EA with him for months before he even realized. By the time he did, he was sucked in and couldn't resist.
Sounds like he has not made a final decision. If he truly feels his life is going to be enriched being with his "soul mate", he is not taking the actions neccessary to obtain that such as looking for another job. As confused as we are about their thoughts and actions, we should give them the benefit of the doubt that they may not know what it is they want either. He may be finding comfort in knowing he can have his cake and eat it too. But as you have said stable is better than back sliding. Perhaps the OW will nag him enough about a job change to bug him.
Originally Posted By: geordie
Some days I also feel like things are moving in the right direction and then all of a sudden it all falls apart. I have to learn not to get fixated on the bad things. Some days my PMA is wonderful, other days it is very low. Part of the roller coaster I guess. DB really does get us all to a better place mentally, regardless of the outcome of our current sitch.
You are right about it being part of the rollercoaster. The good part is, the good moments will eventually extend into days. Time is a blessing. Hang in there! Keep DBing!
