HI, Everyone....sorry to have been gone for so long. Reconciliation w/ h is at a standstill...not going to well....may not happen at all. But, i have learned that i will be o'k...no matter what. H is upset because of a special relationship i had developed...guess he didn't like the tables being turned. I have broken ALL contact w/ other person and that is just the way it has to be...for now.
anyway, i was really writing to let you know that my mom passed away yesterday (Thurs.) morning. i missed being w/ her when she died by just a few minutes. that was difficult for me because i had been w/ her all night and into the morning...had gone home to shower & change....was later getting back because of snow & ice on the roads...almost wrecked trying to get back in time and was still late. I have to believe there was a reason why i wasn't there...maybe one day i will know.
h has not been supportive at all through mom's death..i thought at first he would be....he would not even hug me this morning...made me very sad but showed me just how self-centered he is right now. he came to the funeral home for the wake....sat w/ S10 for about 30 mins. he never spoke to me at all (nor my dad)...left w/o telling anyone he was leaving. just yesterday he would tell me he loves me...today????? makes me wonder if i really want him back...we got into blow-out the other day...told him i wasn't sure he was the type of person i wanted to spend the rest of my life w/. right now our biggest obstacle is our lack of trust in each other. i still think there is hope for us...i have to get through the funeral tomorrow (well...today) and then it is back to DBing. no more contact being initiated by me...no more i love yous...he will have to come to me...should be an interesting/lonely Valentine's Day.
well, it feels good to post again. been staying away to avoid questions from h. i really do hope everyone is doing well. lots of love to all (ya'll) deb
